1

Flotsam and Jetsam / Guess who came in out of the cold?

« on: February 12, 2012, 12:38:49 am »

Hey, it's me, Ivan ye Mad.  Back on for SW:TOR.  Making a Republic toon for first time, so look for Ivan Binks.

Probably be free Tuesday nights and/or weekends.

2

General Discussion / Re: Three cheers for Moztok

« on: May 07, 2010, 01:01:13 pm »

Gratz, Moz!   I knew you could make it!  And as a doctor without a border (I live in the Mideast), I thank you.

3

General Discussion / Re: Need a don't worry be happy moment?

« on: May 07, 2010, 12:57:12 pm »

Wait, there was no scene where I had to carry vegetable to the market for some spinster Hobbit
who wouldn't take the advances of her erstwhile suitor....

The Hobbit matchmaking story arc made want to run to Mordor and jump into Mount Doom...
But the scenery was pretty.

4

General Discussion / Re: UofF has a "flesh-eating, living impaired individuals" pandemic Emergency Plan

« on: December 25, 2009, 03:04:27 pm »

This is Florida: not only do the undead walk, they all have drivers licenses...

5

General Discussion / Re: Star Trek Online

« on: December 25, 2009, 03:03:32 pm »

Herm... if I come out publicly and say that I like the game, this will be the kiss of death for it.
So... as of now I remain uncommitted.

(playing Tabula Rasa by himself, crying)

6

General Discussion / Re: Loremaster "Major Pain" Ivan is AWOL!

« on: December 25, 2009, 03:02:06 pm »

Okay, I'm back!  I had a really great trip.  If you are on Facebook, I put an album up there
and am slowly starting to put pictures up.

7

General Discussion / Re: Happy Holidays

« on: December 25, 2009, 03:00:06 pm »

Happy Holidays!  We are having a mini roleplay celebrating the Twelve Days of Christmas in the Roleplay.

8

General Discussion / Loremaster "Major Pain" Ivan is AWOL!

« on: December 12, 2009, 01:59:40 am »

Hey everybody, sorry to be such a ghost. 

I am leaving for Guatemala this Sunday the 13th of December and I won't be back until the 21st of December.
When I get back I will host a holiday-themed mini-roleplay from the 22nd of December to the 6th of January. 

I am working on a cool project down there with people from my community college.
This is where we are going:
http://tjourneys.com/guatemala.htm

I will be working on making fuel-efficient stoves for families in a very small village that lives near the lake. 
See you in 10 days!

9

General Discussion / Re: Game World Project i am working on

« on: November 08, 2009, 07:41:16 pm »

Please change all proper names if you wish:

1) The Vydef ruins are now only inhabited by the undead, the revenants who fell in battle during the Fifth Era under the reign of Nrion.
Nrion's forces swept across the city-state of Ydeffe in his ploy to consolidate the entire peninsula.  Unfortunately, a Vydef necromancer
cursed the very soil of his native land, happy to see it fester with undeath rather than have it fall to invaders.  Only weeds and scavengers
dare intrude upon this ruined area. 

2) Enrionfi is a massive port city at the tip of the peninsula, and the capital of what is now called the Southern Marches.  Most of the
population of the Marches lives within 6 days travel of this city, namely on the shores of the peninsula.   The Southern Marches are
what is left of Nrion's Empire which in the Fifth Era spanned across most of the southern half of the continent.  Now it is still a bustling
city, but has seen better days.  It is surrounded by grey cliffs which shelter it from the harsh winds that come in winter.  Also,
the cliffs are mined for their superior yield of marble.

3) Nrion refused to call himself King or Emperor, stating that his glory was in the service of one greater, the Sun God Hhugain.  (Worship
of Hhugain had mostly fallen away during most of the Fourth Era, but Nrion's evangelistic crusades brought a revival to this religion.)  Many
debate his race, since albeit his appearance in most reliquaries suggest a human form, not a few believe that he had fey background.  At
the apogee of his power, he attempted to consolidate the Southern Marches only to find his army routed at the battle over Ydeffe.  Records
state that on that day, the sun itself turned red, and the Sulpitine River turned to blood.  Many died of the plagues that followed and Nrion
himself took on the form of the avatar of Hhugain called the Bleeder, now believed to be an aspect of primitive blood sacrifice meant to
scare away solar eclipses.  Nrion was said to have used gem magic in such fashion as to turn his eyes blood red and scar himself.  This
is why many Sixth Era carvings of Nrion depict him with a red hash on his chest and vermillion eyes. 

4) Governor Jaik of Enrionfi has been a wise steward of his city's wealth.  He is mercurial in aspect, changing mood quickly.  He is intelligent
and his knowledge of merchant lore has kept Enrionfi as a major player in the region despite the current Regent's failing influence. 

5) Ensign Piotro of the Pirate Islands has been plotting to murder Governor Jaik.  He has three reasons for this.  First, he believes that if
her could kill the Governor, he would advance in the eyes of the Pirate leaders.  Secondly, Jaik has been stalwart in his refusal to pay the
Pirates for safe passage, using mercenary boats (and sometimes even rival pirates) to guard his merchant boats from the Islanders' attacks.
Finally, he hates worshippers of Hhugain, since as a child he was kept as a house slave by Enrionfians who beat him savagely when the boy
refused to go to sunrise services and pay proper obeisance to their lord.  As governor, Jaik is also the highest civil Prelate in the church of
Gan, the church established by Nrion for the worship of Hhugain.  What he doesn't know is that he is also a reincarnation of the necromancer
who is seeking revenge on the Southern Marches for their invasion of Ydeffe.

10

Flotsam and Jetsam / Re: A PET'S TEN COMMANDMENTS.........

« on: October 17, 2009, 03:36:27 am »

One more:

11. When I bring you dead animals, don't scream or yell at me.  Just pull out the
chopping board and start making a tasty hash.  This is why I forage for you.  I
have the hunting skills and undying loyalty. You have the opposable thumbs and
the crockpots.

11

Flotsam and Jetsam / HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! [RELIGIOUS]

« on: May 09, 2009, 01:57:22 am »

I know this is a bit premature but I am going to be very busy this weekend.
I have to preach a sermon in my church Sunday.  I wrote this for the children's
message (I plan to have all the mothers there too).  What do you think?

Mother's Message

Okay, now for something a little different.  Every Sunday all the kids get to sit up front
and the moms have to sit in the back.  Today the moms get to sit up front.  So, will all the
moms come on up?

I did it.  I cracked the Mom Code.  Forget the DaVinci Code.  This code is really important.
There are 5 words in the Mom Code: WELL IF I DON'T BE

They say WELL all the time, because they want you to be well.
   Well, well, what are you going to do now?
   Well, wait till your father gets home!
   Well, money doesn't grow on trees, you know.
   Well, let me kiss it and make it better.

They tell you to BE careful, because they want to take care of you.
   Be careful not to slam the doors.
   Be careful with those scissors.
   Be careful around strangers.
   Be careful what you wish for; you might get it.
   
They say IF a lot, because they are always thinking ahead for your sake.
       If you're quiet, you must be up to something.
       If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. 
       If your friends all jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?
       If I had talked to your grandmother the way you talk to me...

They say DON'T all the time, but they do it because they do love you.
      Don't sit too close to the TV, it will ruin your eyes.
      Don't run with a lollipop in your mouth.
      Don't swim right after eating.
      Don't start anything you don't plan to finish.

They say I a lot, but they say it because they are thinking about you.
      I mean business...
      Because I said so, that's why...
      I'm only doing this for your own good.
      I can't wait until you're a parent some day.
      As long as I'm around, I'll be your mother.

It's no secret.  God gave us mothers for our own good.  So let us be good to them. 
Let's pray.  God, thank you for the gift of mothers.  Thank you for using them to show
us your love and for protecting our children.  Thank you for their presence, their caring,
and their mercy.   

12

General Discussion / Re: Okay, I'm a Geek.

« on: May 04, 2009, 04:00:09 am »

There is no way I can respond to this question on a family-friendly board.

You guys are killing me....

13

General Discussion / Re: Passing of Dave Arneson

« on: April 14, 2009, 11:06:12 pm »

I got to leaf through a copy of the first edition D&D books at a collector's store in Illinois.  It was a three-book set that had apparently been done on a typewriter at some point and then reprinted. 

14

Ceredwin's Cauldron / Re: A halfling rogue's journal.

« on: April 12, 2009, 12:17:13 am »

(Ahem... just a note that the cleric healed the ranger at least 5 times last eve, which means
that the Cleric saved the party, doesn't it?)

THE ADVENTURER'S STUDIO:
A lively discussion in which the Dire Velociraptor and the Elven Cleric debate theological issues.
DV: Thank you for having this discussion, Ivanna.
EC: Please, call me Random Elven Cleric.
DV: Thank you.  All you humanoids look alike anyway.  I have to use my sense of smell to distinguish you apart.
EC: Which must make it hard to follow the ranger...
(Chuckling)
DV: Returning to the argument by design, why have you pursued an agenda of neutrality towards the world?
Does not the existential imperative demand that we construct meaning out of life and affirm the life impulse?
Are we not bound to our brethren to seek out the common weal?
EC: Well, the common weal is very hard to parse out.  For a pack of attacking worgs, their common weal
involves munching on our flesh.  I don't mean to offend the carnivores in the audience...
DV: Point taken.  Sentient creatures have a moral obligation to not destroy other sentients. 
EC: And the undead, many of whom display intelligence, have been designed to wreak suffering on others...
DV: But wasn't the recent uprising on the coast demonstrative of undead trying to enact social justice?
EC: Well, that specific group of undead might be classified as revenants, which in effect are part of a karmic
restoration.  Their act of good was meant to balance a great evil.  The very idea that evil must be balanced
by good would support my theory that the world is a mechanism of neutrality, affected only by random agents
that at times treat this world as a...
DV: a game.  This is what you have stated in your sermon on the banks of Neverwinter.  But haven't you been
able to see a pattern of evolution behind the caprice of what you call the "Game Designers"?
EC: Not necessarily, which brings us back to the argument by design.
DV: One moment, I need to mention our sponsors:
This dialogue has been brought to you by COIN OF LIFE.
COIN OF LIFE means never having to say, "I'm sorry". 
COIN OF LIFE.  The ultimate restorative.  Available at major markets everywhere.
Warning: not available to NPCs.  Take only under the supervision of a resurrection specialist.

15

Flotsam and Jetsam / Re: Good News!!

« on: February 21, 2009, 07:52:49 pm »

Congratulation s!

16

Ceredwin's Cauldron / Re: A halfling rogue's journal.

« on: January 26, 2009, 04:57:35 am »

As a member of prominence of the aforementioned party, let me say that I take offense to
the minimal description made of my role in the adventure.  I think that a correction needs to
be made in full consideration of my substantial contribution to the ambiance of the party.

First of all, it is a very coarse description to simply state that I am a "dinosaur".  I happen to
be a dire velociraptor.  I studied acting at Juilliard and minored in literary theory.  After a brief
stint as a playwright on an off-off-Broadway special (you might have seen it... RENT BETWEEN
MY TEETH OF DEATH), I was invited to London to do an adaptation of MacBeth.  Unfortunately,
an interdimension al tidal wave hit the boat, forcing me to be shipwrecked on a strange realm.

I soon acquired a steady man Friday who was employed as a druid in a party of adventurers.
The combination of my vicious attack abilities and the ranger's inerrant ability to walk us into
massively overpowered opponents led to our party becoming one of renown.  Apparently Volo, the
cad, aspires to plagiarize our exploits in a serialized monograph of his own!  I told him that he
was a hack that made the noobs at Angie's List look like David Theroux.   He replied that I had
no intellectual property rights as a dinosaur in Samaranch and that "Sassy" Sally Sa'sani, his
literary agent, had worked out an ironclad deal.  Well, I did a few background manipulations,
leading to her being completely discredited.  All the time, our party has gained in level and
expertise. We now only completely party wipe about 50% of the time, which is a 20% improvement
than before.

Oh well, it has been about 5 milliseconds since the battle ended, so I am sure that Connor is
going to shoot us back into the overland map without healing -zip-!

....nice meeting you.....

17

Ceredwin's Cauldron / Re: A My church Video

« on: January 10, 2009, 09:50:23 pm »

That was amazing!  Apparently there are a bunch of these on YouTube.  I found another version
that shows the hand detail with a closer shot:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyPm7n_pXW8&feature=related

Really inspiring to watch.

18

General Discussion / Re: Happy New Year Resolutions

« on: January 08, 2009, 08:07:57 pm »

1. Eye wish too stopp wurryin abowt spelin erurrs al tha tyme.
2. To defend our Lord and Savior Barack Hussein Obama at all times from the attacks of infidels.
3. To mine the driveway the next time the Connor clan comes driving in....

4. Seriously, to get out and enjoy winter and to spend as much time with family and friends as possible and this means you too!  Happy New Year.

ps. at some point I promise to create the essay "My Holidays with the Connor Clan" for your enjoyment...

19

Flotsam and Jetsam / Re: Hi everybody!

« on: December 24, 2008, 02:33:25 am »

Happy holidays everyone.  I find these words provide either great guidance or laughter:

potato potato potato.

I need to post a "living with the Connor family" blog somewhere... they left my house and are on
the way to Kentucky... I need to go buy more fuses...

20

Flotsam and Jetsam / Re: MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

« on: November 19, 2008, 03:12:51 am »

By the way, it's official.  We are going to be doing a celebrity roast of Connor in December.  So if you liked that, wait until I'm doing it for a good cause...

21

Flotsam and Jetsam / Re: Order of The Stick

« on: November 19, 2008, 03:07:47 am »

Connor isn't old, he just smells that way....  too many MREs...

22

Flotsam and Jetsam / Re: To all our vets and enlisted..

« on: November 12, 2008, 12:18:11 am »

Have an honorable and memorable Veterans Day.

Your service is not forgotten.

23

Flotsam and Jetsam / Re: Order of The Stick

« on: November 08, 2008, 03:50:54 am »

I put a warning bit by the link so innocent eyes will be a-warned...

24

Flotsam and Jetsam / Re: Order of The Stick

« on: November 01, 2008, 02:34:09 am »

Board / card game is here:

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/24157

25

General Discussion / Re: New on the Roleplay Board - Halloween Party at the Floating Vagabond!

« on: October 12, 2008, 01:38:15 am »

You've seen Alien VS. Predator, but have you ever seen Wookiee VERSUS PredatoryLenda tor?
You've seen the Lone ranger, but have you ever seen a ranger drink a Singularity?
You've heard of hovercycles, but have you ever seen an octopus drive an intergalactic cab?

You will... on the roleplay board this month!

Three victims suckers brave souls have entered the Floating Vagabond so far.

Are you strong enough to be this silly?

Any character, any world, any realm.  Look for us under Guild Discussion on these very Forums.

Make this October the month you went Vagabond!

DON'T BELIEVE ME, TAKE THE WORD OF THESE ABSOLUTELY TRUE PLAYER TESTIMONIALS
(absolutely lifted out of context... but hey, it's election season, this is par for the course...):

"I don't KNOW how it happened!.... Surprisingly citrus. Nice finish. I'm not sure why my lower lip is numb, but all in all, I like it." - Brazen
"One of your best..." - Connor
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAW WWWWWWWWRRRRAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAGGGGRRAAAWA AAGGGWWAR!" - Urragra

http://www.royalblackwatch.net/forums/index.php?topic=1895.0