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Ceredwin's Cauldron / A sample of something I am working on

« on: February 19, 2014, 12:19:00 am »

This is a just a small portion of something I have been working on, it's still just a rough draft but thought I would share with some of my friends   and yes, feel free to comment/critique

Twenty Minutes Away

Colleen sat transfixed on the computer screen, doing what had become her weekly ritual for the past two years. She entered the only information that she had into one database after another; First: Rebecca   Middle: Leah   Last: Unknown   Date of Birth: April 27, 1988   City of birth: LaPorte   State of birth: Indiana…enter…. searching…. No Results Found.
Colleen sat back, taking a sip of coffee and allowed her thoughts to drift back to the day in the hospital when she gave birth to the little girl she would give up for adoption, it was such a long time ago and for so many years she refused to even think about it, she thought of the day that the adoptive parents came to visit her, the day they took her baby home…they brought her a milk shake from Dairy Queen…hardly seems like an even trade.

Walking into the kitchen to refill her coffee cup she cursed herself for not remembering, for not doing like her mother suggested and keep a diary. At that time in her life she never thought that she would want to find the baby she gave away, she thought she would just forget and live her life as if it never happened, now the only information she can remember is the name that the couple gave her and the date she was born…. like finding a needle in a haystack.

The following day at work Colleen began training for a new contract, it meant longer hours but it also meant better pay and job security, and after all the recent lay-offs she would take anything they wanted to throw at her.  It was difficult learning the new systems, she was no slouch when it came to computer programs but this software was very challenging for her.  Only a select few were trained with this new system, entering information into a governmental database meant a lot of security and red tape.

It had been months since she performed her searches, with everything going on at work she had spent every free moment going over procedures and programs to learn this new system, and contract inside and out and it paid off with a nice little promotion and pay raise.  One afternoon while searching through the system for applicant information a thought crossed her mind…. what would it hurt, just to see…probably another dead end anyway so what would be the harm.  She entered Rebecca’s information, or what she had of it; into the database search screen and hit enter.
The search did not take very long, Colleen sat staring at the screen, her hands trembling as the information she had been searching for appeared on the monitor, she hit print screen and rushed to the printer. She had everything, the adoptive parents’ names and address, John and Patricia that was their name; she remembered…how could she have forgotten that? She had their last name, address, telephone number, Rebecca’s address and telephone number…She was married according to the information, and had two children ages 2 and 3 months, “I’m a grandmother” Colleen softly whispered to herself. Carefully she folded the paper and placed it in her purse, she couldn’t concentrate on work, and lucky for her the day was almost over.

During the entire drive home her mind was racing, she had searched for so long and now she didn’t know what she would do with the information now that she finally had it in her hands. She didn’t know what, if anything Rebecca knew about her, she couldn’t just call her or write her directly without at least knowing what the adoptive parents told her so she decided she would write a letter to the parents, but what would she say? “Hi, remember me? I gave you a baby about 21 years ago and wanted to know if it would be ok to talk to her?”

Colleen pulled into her driveway and rushed into her house, she didn’t even take off her coat before plugging her daughter’s name in the Google search engine, she had a MySpace page, and Colleen clicked the link then felt as though she couldn’t breathe when the picture of Rebecca appeared. It was like looking at a picture of herself at that age. Colleen was surprised that the profile wasn’t set to private as most were, Colleen clicked the link for Rebecca’s photo album, there were pictures of Rebecca and according to the caption her husband Michael…there were also pictures of her children Joshua and Riana, they were so beautiful Colleen thought.

Bookmarking the page Colleen then entered the father’s name in Google…she didn’t come up with much, only an address and telephone number that she now had, so she searched for the mother. It appeared the mother was a very successful business woman, she owned a bed and breakfast in Laporte, one that Colleen recalls staying at a time or two with her ex when she still lived in Indiana. Also the adoptive mother had a Face Book page. The Face Book page was set to private, but it appeared that she had a lot of friends on her list; perhaps being a business owner she just automatically accepted friend invitations Colleen thought to herself, so she sent a friend request.

Rebecca had grown up in Laporte Indiana, it was only 20 minutes away from Michigan City where Colleen had lived all her life up until a few years ago…all this time Rebecca was so close, if only she had known. Colleen sat back and sipped her tea as she wondered to herself what type of life Rebecca had, she looked so happy in the pictures “do I want to risk it?” Colleen thought to herself then opened up her word program and began to type.

Dear John and Patricia,
My name is Colleen Sanders and I live in Fargo, North Dakota. About 21 years ago I placed a baby girl up for adoption in Michigan City; Indiana…my name at that time was Colleen Robards.
I am writing because I have been searching for the baby I placed for adoption, I remembered that the Father’s name was John and the mother’s name was Patricia and that they named the baby girl Rebecca Leah.
The reason I am writing is I needed to know if you were the couple I chose to be her parents. If you are not then I am so sorry to have bothered you, but if you are I would very much like the opportunity to speak with you both.
Please know that I do not wish to take anything from you or to interfere in your relationship with Rebecca in any way. I would just like to have the opportunity to speak with her, if that is also her wish.
I am enclosing a self addressed stamped envelope. Please let me know if your Rebecca is the same child I placed for adoption or if I am mistaken. I did not want to attempt to contact her directly without knowing what, if anything she knew about me.

Sincerely
Colleen Sanders
701-234-9999
Colleen.Sander s@gmail.net

Colleen didn’t mail the letter for 3 days; she kept reading it over and over. She did not want to come across as pushy, she did not want them to think she wanted to come and be “mommy” now that Rebecca was a grown woman. After she mailed the letter all she could do was wait.
The weeks dragged by, 2…3…. 4 weeks and nothing, she knew she should have sent the letter with a return receipt, what if they didn’t get it? Colleen decided that she would wait 6 weeks, if she didn’t hear anything by then she would send a second letter, certified mail this time.

It was a few days later, Colleen came home from work to find that there was a letter from the offices of “Kenefik, Gilmore and Bergeson” and her heart sank. These were the same lawyers who handled her divorce. She opened the letter and read;
Dear Mrs. Sanders,
Please be advised Mr. and Mrs. John Fowler have retained our services.  This letter is notification that they wish no further contact with you and that any continued attempts to contact the Fowlers or their daughter Rebecca can and will result in criminal charges.
If you have any questions please feel free to contact our office.

Thank you,
Thomas Gilmore
Attorney at Law

Colleen sat on the couch and cried, she would never know her now, and she wouldn’t even have the chance to talk with her.  She read the letter over and over suddenly it dawned on her. The adoptive parents, not Rebecca, hired the lawyer. Perhaps Rebecca was not even made aware of her attempt to contact her, Colleen decided she would contact the lawyers office directly.
The next morning Colleen called in sick, she would never be able to concentrate anyway, then called the attorney’s office. The receptionist answered the telephone cheerfully, too cheerful for that time of the morning in Colleen’s opinion.  “May I speak with Attorney Robert Kenefick?” Colleen asked shakily, “I’m sorry but Mr. Kenefick will not be in the office until 1pm, would you like his voicemail?” “No,” Colleen answered, “I will call back, thank you”.

Colleen tried to keep herself busy until 1pm but she kept finding herself looking through Rebecca’s photo album online, how happy she and her babies looked in each photo. Colleen wondered if Rebecca would have looked as happy if she wouldn’t have placed her for adoption, if she had to grow up with her as a mother.
At 3pm she placed another call to the attorney’s office, this time he was available. “Hello Ms. Sanders, how may I help you?” Colleen explained that she had received the letter from his office and asked “Was Rebecca present in your office or was it only the parents who requested you contact me about this?”  There was a pause before Kenefick replied “It is the parents wish that you make no further contact to either them or their daughter.” Colleen felt her body relax and smiled softly to herself “Mr. Kenefick, Rebecca is an adult 21 years of age, I believe she is fully capable of making her own decisions, and if she chooses to tell me herself that she does not wish any contact with me, well, I am perfectly willing to accept that. Understand this Mr. Kenefick, I will contact Rebecca and will honor whatever decision she makes, not a decision that has been made for her, and if you feel the need to have charges pressed against me then I am perfectly willing to accept that as well…. good afternoon.”

Colleen sat at her computer and began composing a letter to the child she placed for adoption all those years ago.  She began by explaining who she was; she fought to keep herself from running on and on and basically asked that Rebecca contact her whether she wanted to speak with Colleen or not.
Colleen waited anxiously and the weeks passed, just shy of three weeks later she received a letter in the mail from Rebecca, Colleen took a deep breath and carefully opened the envelope.

Dear Colleen,
Thank you for contacting me, yes I have always known I was adopted so your letter was not a shock to me.  I would like to say thank you for choosing such wonderful parents for me and for the sacrifice you made in placing me for adoption. I could not have asked for a better life than the one I had.
My life is complete, I do hope that I have put your mind at ease, but with that being said I am asking that you not attempt to contact me again. I have a mother and my children have a grandmother and I do not wish to complicate my life or theirs.  I do hope you understand and respect my wishes.

Thank you
Rebecca

Colleen sat on the couch and read the letter once more as tears rolled down her cheeks, and then carefully she folded the letter and placed it in the envelope. She gathered all the information she had collected on Rebecca, placing it in a manila envelope and places it gently in the hope chest at the foot of her bed.

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General Discussion / Hey Cyberjudge

« on: June 20, 2013, 05:49:54 pm »

I know you know what this is!

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General Discussion / Something for Miridoodle....

« on: October 23, 2012, 01:15:08 pm »

Or anyone else who likes to put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard.....

http://www.nanowrimo.org/?cid=en_lulublog

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Flotsam and Jetsam / Deer Crossings

« on: October 21, 2012, 10:44:32 pm »

This is an actual call made to a radio station in Fargo ND....too funny

http://youtu.be/CI8UPHMzZm8

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Ceredwin's Cauldron / The TV in the Children's Ward

« on: May 05, 2012, 09:36:32 pm »

The TV in the Children's Ward


Something was wrong with the TV again
The children had told me,
that they saw it grin.
I didn't believe them,
No-I wouldn't dare.
A child's imagination,
Is beyond compare.

And these sad little children,
with clouds in their minds.
Stare at it for hours,
in the asylums confines.
Sometimes when they're laughing,
at its blank static glow-
You'd think they were playing,
in the TV's white snow.

A few of the nurses,
seem kind of disturbed.
but it calms the kids down,
so they don't say a word.
It just gets so hard,
to pull them away.
When they threaten with violence,
telling all they will pay.

And now it is stuck,
on channel 13.
But it's looking more like,
somewhere in between...

Oh my good god!-
I just heard my name!
In a whispering static-
from the TV it came...

Now it almost looks pretty-
like swarming fireflies...
I gaze at it blankly,
just cause draws my eyes...
Then I see a picture...
Start to come clear...
And the TV man says,
he has truth I should hear...

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Flotsam and Jetsam / Holiday Eating Tips

« on: December 22, 2011, 12:32:38 pm »

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It’s rare… You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple , Pumpkin , Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day ?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand and wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!”

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Ceredwin's Cauldron / The Sword of Angels

« on: December 03, 2009, 02:26:08 am »

The Sword of Angels

As the noble warrior emerged from his shady rest
upon the sanguine arena, he moved forward
to encounter the villainous forces that lay siege to his home and kin.
Though imperfect in his rule, his sword knew no comparison between righteous and corrupt.

To his honor he clung against reason.
His vermillion cloak waved warning to his mark as he approached
his sword sheathed again and again in the comfortable flesh of his foes
his eyes shone sorrow.

And then, just then, the warrior turned upon the call of the mighty battle horn
before him was one known to be equal yet opposite in profession.
Found after the battle within the claret muck the spiritless warrior lay
his sword red with blood clasped in cold hands lay across his cuirass
his men-at-arms bore him upon their shoulders away from the carnage.

As the mist cleared on that early morn his likeness was seen upon the distant hill.
Men thought mad reported a figure akin to their fallen brother
with wings of the angels red as wine, his sword aflame lifted toward the sun.

As time passed into decade, the story cast into shadow,
soldiers sing tales of the crimson warrior, who fell only to rise again,
forced to walk the mist and lead those fallen in battle
for eternity.

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Ceredwin's Cauldron / Twas The Night Before Christmas

« on: November 28, 2008, 08:33:33 pm »

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF
PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
'SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS.'

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, 'CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE.'

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
'MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.'

This poem was written by a Marine.

The following is his request. I think it is reasonable.... .

PLEASE. Would you do me the kind favor of sending
this to as many people as you can? Christmas will be coming
soon and some credit is due to our U.S. service men and
women for our being able to celebrate these festivities.
Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we
owe. Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and
dead, who sacrificed themselves for us. Please, do your
small part to plant this small seed