Murphys Rules of Combat

[Connor Altinus Mcleod]

If the enemy is in range, so are you.
If you can see the enemy, they can see you.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
Friendly fire isn't.
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire. This is why aircraft carriers are called bomb magnets.
There is always a way.
The easy way is always mined.
Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
The enemy only attacks on one of two occasions: When you're ready for them, and when you're not ready for them.
Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.
If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.
When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
If it's stupid but works, then it isn't stupid.
When in doubt empty the magazine.
Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.
Anything you do can get you shot. Including doing nothing.
Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.
Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.
Five second fuses only last three seconds.
It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.
When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
You are not a superman.
No plan survives the first contact intact.
If you are forward of your position the artillery will always fall short.
The important things are always simple.
The simple things are always hard.
No combat ready unit ever passed inspection.
Beer math: two beers times 37 men equal 49 cases.
Body count math: two guerillas plus one portable plus two pigs equals 37 enemy KIA.
Things that must be together to work usually can't be shipped together.
Radios will fail as soon as you desperately need fire support.
Tracers work both ways.
If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share of objectives to take.
When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.
If it moves, shoot it.
If it doesn't move, poke it with your gun barrel and then shoot it.
Overkill works.
Murphy was a grunt.

[Moz]

Camoflage only works if you're standing perfectly still, which also makes you an easy target for anyone with a keen eye.

[Ivan the Mad]

For those enamored of good Latin mottoes:

http://www.badgersden.com/MaysFamily/Murphy_Latin.htm

If the enemy is in range, so are you.   Si hostes visibilis, etiam tu.
Incoming fire has the right of way  Missiles invenientes semper potestatem viae habent 
Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire  Noli eminere, catapultas allicies
There is always a way  Putamus viam semper esse
The easy way is always mined  Via perfacilis laqueis semper plena
Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo  Conare nullius momenti videri fortasse missilibus careant
Professionals are predictable, it is the amateurs who are dangerous  Peritissimos semper praevidere possumus, rudi autem periculosi sunt
The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: (a) when you are ready for them, (b) when you are not ready for them   Duobus temporibus oppugnant hostes: cum parati estis, et cum imparati estis
Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at  Collaboratio maximi momenti est, quia eis alterum scopum praebet
If you can't remember, the claymore is always pointed at you  Si id memini non potes, scutula dirumpens semper at te collineata est
The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack  Negligentia hostium quam non coluistis primus impetus erit
A sucking chest wound is nature's way of telling you to slow down  Vulnus pectoris sugens ne properetis mos naturae dicendi est
If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush  Si impetus bene it, in laqueum incessistis
Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you  Numquam catapultas allice, iram omnium concitabis
Anything you can do can get you shot, including nothing  Ex quocumque facere poteris te sauciabit, nihilo comprehenso
Make it tough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out  Si hostibus difficile incedere facias tu quoque male extricabis
Never share a foxhole with one braver than yourself  Numquam fossam compartire cum viro tibi fortiore
If you are short of anything but the enemy you are in a combat zone  Si nihilo carueris nisi hostibus loco pugnae es
When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy  Si locum inexpugnabilis facias, memento hostibus de hoc profiteri
Never forget your weapon is made by the lowest bidder  Numquam obliviscaris tua tela facta ab eis qui minima liciti sunt