'Twas The Night After Christmas, when all through the land
Not a creature was stirring, not even Kianne;
The ammo was stacked by the chimney with care,
In fears that Old Connor soon would be there;
Miri, Misti, and Darin were all snug in their beds,
While visions of crafters danced in their heads;
And Thylath in his 'kerchief, and Moordoom in his cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Ivan sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window Moztok flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and called out to Nash.
Moondria was playing in the new-fallen snow
While Urragra looked down on the objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes could find stranger?
But a miniature van, and six tiny rangers,
With a little old driver, with glory and honor,
I knew in a moment that it must be Old Connor.
More rapid than eagles his rangers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Naga! now, Jaqlin! now, Caladryell!
On, Vaclabe! on Faery! come on, Buffiel!
To the top of the porch! down this old chimney flue!"
But he never expected Inidwo Ov'vu!
Who chucked a grenade as he let out a cry,
"Give the password Old Connor, or here you shall die!"
So up to the house-top ran Connor so rude,
And he almost passed out when he saw Frehley nude.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The password was given, (It's a G-rated spoof!).
Mory and Leprechaun were turning around,
as they saw down the chimney Old Connor did bound.
He was dressed all in camo, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of LANs he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a hacker, according to Rhazaak.
Qyta, Ziarre, and Gilgamoth cheered,
for it was not evil Connor as Kayhynn had feared
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks stained with black grease from the military!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
Lealanna and Asana both played in the snow;
The stump of a stogie he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
But he stank to high heaven cause his boots were all smelly.
He clapped Akrington, Kelvin, and Reox hard on the back,
And I laughed cause this jolly elf ate old hardtack;
A wink of his eye and a twitch of his nose,
Was his salute to Hamer, Sheridan, and Shadowrose;
He spoke not a word, except when praising RIFTS,
Lia, Fury, and Asha Mir opened their gifts,
And laying his finger on his nasal extrusion,
He teleported out of the base house intrusion;
He sprang to his sleigh, waved to Walky and Crose,
And as he fled off I think he struck Enid a pose.
But I heard him exclaim, to Khel, Cyber, and Max,
"Happy Christmas to all.... work on your stealth attacks...."
ps-we have 365 members. I could only fit in like 50 people into this poem. If I left you out, write your own Christmas spoof. Or if you complain very loudly, I will write another one about you... and if you are very nice it may be a good one...
pps - seriously, Merry Christmas to everyone! Hail to the Watch!
